Just got back to work. The last 2 days was full of tears and pain.
His granddad past away 2 days ago in the hospital and was buried yesterday.
I know it is sad news but this incident open my eyes in 2 ways.
Firstly would be that "kematian menginsafkan diri, kerana mati itu pasti" (death is like a wake up call to repent, cause death will come for sure)
Secondly would be how pure his heart was. I mean my boyfriend is not perfect far from perfect but im sure this is the guy i want to marry. He have a heart of gold. (People who know me knows i dont praise easily especially praise about my boyfriend. But when someone is good, we need to say it)
I had a chance to look for my late grandmother's (maternal side), grave. It was so far from where Shrimp's (i should just call my boyfriend this as what my boss calls him, for now let his name be unknown until further notice) granddad was buried. We told his family member's that they could go home first and we walked all the way (the Sun was scorching hot but it was worth it) to Nyai's grave. We asked around and while walking i told Shrimp about whats been bothering me lately. (about the "engagement")
I know it wasnt the right time but i felt that he should know what ive been hiding.
And he was actually calm.
His calmness most of the time annoys me but sometimes it helps calm me.
He even told the Ustaz when he asked if i was his "orang rumah"(wife), he answered, "no, she's my fiancee.
I was happy i get to introduce Shrimp to my Nyai. There was a certain calmness when i sat next to Nyai's grave. Although it was just a short while (cause someone waited for us, thankfully) i had the chance to tell Nyai how mom misses her and how i miss her and i had the chance to just be there beside her. I miss you Nyai. Your "Mak Haji" misses you so much.
Anyone who reads this please "sedekahkan Al-Fateha" to both Shrimp's & my late grandparents.
Thank you.
Signing Off,
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