I have to be honest I am at the point in life where I am feeling lost. Feeling I want to be somewhere far from where I am standing now. Not that i want to complain and be ungrateful of where live is taking me now. It is just the feeling of suffocation, where you feel you couldn’t breathe at a normal rate. Like you kept panting as if you just had a 2.4km run. As if your feet is turning cold, your ears extremely heaty. Like you want to shout but nothing comes out from your mouth. Not a single word.
You want to explain and share to those you’re comfortable at sharing but you tend to spread your bad news to whoever who is there right that very moment when you feel the urge of breaking down.
Dreams you have built so high yet it seems like nothing you have done to get even close to it.
This is not depression. This is just a normal feeling everyone will at least feel when they’re adulting. You’re trying to convince yourself at every time possible that this is normal.
When people kept asking you to try your best as if you’re not already doing it. Tough shit.
You tried to do the things you like to distract yourself from the non-stop noises playing in your head. Away from making conversations and keep making yourself busy watching dreamy movies, singing your guts out just great distractions to feel human again. Again. Is this normal. You asked yourself.
The constant imma be okay. The constant wait I am okay. But again why would you ask so many questions to yourself over and over again?
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