Wherever you are, whoever you are. If there even are any readers.
I know i am lame af. But here im in my late 20s and still cant figure out why i feel my life is still not fully fulfilled to how i pictured it to be.
I never get what i want (but i am still thankful), he gives me what i need. Well up till today, i still have a job though its not a dream job. And im kinda losing my inspirations and dreams and my creativity is slowly dying along with it. I dont even know what i really want. I just dont feel im there, where my heart is.
Its hard for a dreamy person like me to really face reality. But wherever i am, i always try to give my best and not give up. Life, as shitty as it is, but im trying to... to survive at least.
I know day by day im losing myself. Honestly, losing myself. I mean i was never so positive since young but i was kind, i love listening to people (being a good listener). I wasnt always mad. I dont know why now i get mad so easily. Like i hurt people so easily when i know how it feels to be hurt by the one you love the most. Hence, here, i want to apologize to whoever loves me dearly, truthfully, who got hurt by my words or action. Please know i never want to hurt anybody. I just am still trying to figure out myself.
I dont want people to tell me what to do or how to be me. Although i myself am not sure how to be me but please im not a puppet. Let me figure me. Then maybe one day, i'll shine and that shine helps to shine others too.
That's all ive got to say for today. I may or may not make sense. But till the next time i bump into this and remember how i managed to be at tomorrow and thank god ive passed today.
Dada for now.
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