It's here again.
The feeling I dread the most. The feeling of not being good enough. The feeling of being a failure. Of suddenly realising that im in a shitty place. Hating it but can't do anything about it.
I am trying to find a place where I could just run to. I mean I do talk about my feelings to people close to me but I would only feel better for a while. Then my anxieties will slowly but surely come back making me feel so sick to the stomach and stupidly cry like a baby.
If you say im not taking adulthood well, growing up, during my teenage years, I was already sick to the brain. I am mentally, emotionally unstable. No. No one diagnosed me. But I just feel that how I feel about myself is so not healthy.
I hate hugs but im needing it badly. I yearn from the hug of god. Yes. The one I keep forgetting to be thankful at. The one who I rebelled towards. Yes to that extent. I need him now. I need to feel his warmth. And yes I know I don't deserve it but .......
GOodbye...
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