A few more months and I will be a Mrs S. I think I'm panicking because some of the things we planned didn't really go as planned especially the financial bit.
I must be honest we actually jumped straight into this when we were both not ready. I mean financially not ready. But of course, if we were to wait till we actually have the money, I think that would take forever and our age is running away too quickly and I don't think we have much time to back up.
I can't believe it is almost 7 years with S. And we have been engaged for almost 2 years now.
Okay, truthfully, we are almost there. With the help of my family and his, of course, we managed to settle things but there are still things that are hanging and I'm stressed out in thinking how am I able to get the money within this short period.
I want to chill, relax and enjoy this moment because it's only once in a lifetime. And of course, make this journey beautiful with S. I must admit, he has been really patient with me and I'm scared he might just blow up.
My sister kept saying that I'm a bridezilla when she doesn't know how much I'm actually holding back. I hate that my emotional and mental issues are just not helping at this moment and i don't really know who I could trust to share this with without getting more hurt with the words from them.
I hate that I tend to just shut down.
Why can't I ever be positive and chill?
Pray for me,
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