I have been going through a hard time with myself lately.
Don't get me wrong. I am content with what I have. Still having my lovely parents' support & love, a loving husband and an adorable clever son. What more can I ask for?
Well, I guess I would want me. To love me. I have lost a lot in life. Yeah, it might not seem a lot to others. I know others might have had it way worst. What I meant is as you grow, you lose things like some people you know, the life you had before, people you think you had but actually not really now. It is part of growing and adulting I guess. But the most painful part of losing apart from losing your dearest friend would be losing....yourself.
I lost my passion. Which is probably the only thing that I thought made me happy. Made me believe in myself. I do not have a career I thought I would succeed in. I have not achieved anything for myself for almost decades now. I can't afford to help my parents financially. Yet to have a stable income at this age. I no longer like to do things I used to. My mental health is a mess. I'm just like a ticking bomb just waiting for a trigger and I'll burst into a crazy bitch.
So sometimes. When I missed myself, I would just go listen to my past recordings on my phone and try to remember that young naive girl who had such big dreams and passion all die because someone said she wasn't good enough because people didn't see what she thought she could do.
Why can't they just let you be happy even if it's merely just daydreaming of something that would never happen?
Anyway, I think I'll just put my thoughts up till here. I have got nothing else to say. But I hope if you have a dream and dying passion although you were not born talented and people don't see what you see, I hope you will never give up and just live your life your way (of course not over the limits I mean everything should have limits. I know some might not agree but yeah.) Just don't give up and hope you will get to the goal you have worked for!
You can do it!
Till then,
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